My little man is 10 months old today.

How?

He’s so amazing. As much as I want to hold on tight, it is so much fun watching him grow.

Eating is becoming so much fun! He’s quickly developing more of an appetite for “people food” (haha, sorry, I’m a dog person and that phrase keeps slipping out when I talk about solid foods!). This evening he cleared his plate! This is a positive step, considering how much he just didn’t care about them for awhile. He really likes to feed himself, so it’s nice now that he can eat finger foods. As a result, he’s more willing to try new things, even if it comes on a spoon.

He’s becoming more of a challenge, of course. He’s been such an easy baby. But now he’s coming into his own, and is letting me know what he wants and when he wants it. It can be frustrating, but I like his spunk. He is so much fun and I love that he has such a sweet and silly personality.

In his grandma’s lap.


In other news… it’s amazing how much your friends can rejuvenate you.

I don’t get to see my friends often enough, especially my “old” friends. I am very fortunate to have made a new mommy friend. Someone who really seems to GET IT and it’s nice to have someone like her to hang out with and talk to. It’s nice to have a friend with a similar parenting style. It’s nice that our kids can play together.

I am lucky, though, because I also have a few good female friendships that I’ve maintained over the years. I’ve been friends with one of them since we were in the 1st grade (that’s over 20 years, yo!), another from 6th grade, and another since high school.

Anyhow, one of those women now lives in Hawaii and is brilliant and working on her Master’s and doing lots of research and doing incredible things like speaking at symposiums. She is in town this week, and last night the four of us gals got together for a long-overdue dinner with plenty of wine.

We are all at very different places in our lives. We might not always understand what another is feeling or going through, but we’re there for each other. We try. Sometimes we need to try harder, and make more of an effort to connect and see each other. But there’s something to be said about decades of friendship, and still being able to talk like we did when we were 18 years old.

I’m starting to feel like that area of my life is striking a better balance. I really appreciate these people, new and old. It can be hard juggling motherhood and being a wife and running a household and maintaining relationships and taking care of yourself… but there are days when you smile and sigh and know that you’re doing something right, in at least one of those areas.

I think I’m too emotional for this whole motherhood thing.

Today is our last day before our son turns six months old.

I know I know, big deal, right?

Except, to me, it IS a big deal. Where did those first six months go? And how do I slow down the next six months?


(Wasn’t this yesterday?)

Last night, as I was getting my son to sleep (finally), I lost it. I started crying (okay, SOBBING) because… it’s all going too fast. We’re starting our son on solids this week. He has been showing me more and more signs that he’s ready, but this weekend sealed the deal. He showed me that he’s ready, even if I am not. But I will do it, because it’s not about me. I (selfishly) want to keep him little and pause these moments in time, but that’s not my job as his mother. It’s my job to help him grow big and strong. To help him grow up.

I’m sure you’re reading this thinking, “Wow, what a wacko.” I know many mothers would look at me and think, “Six months and he still hasn’t started solids?” Or even, “Jeez, lady, he’s still just a little baby at only six months old.” Like I said, I think I’m too emotional for this role.

Something that surprised me last night, as G held my finger and babbled himself to sleep (and while I tried to keep my tears from soaking him), was that solids represent something I never thought about before: an end to breastfeeding.

I know that sounds silly, really I do. I don’t plan to stop nursing for quite awhile. Even though we’ll be starting solids, the bulk of his diet will still be breastmilk and it (hopefully) won’t even affect our nursing for quite awhile. But it’s the first step towards that. The first step toward not needing me.

I’ve been his whole world for these six months. And now we’re taking a step away from that. And damn it, it hurts.

I’m so proud of my little boy and am so so so excited to watch him grow. It’s bittersweet, but beautiful. I can’t wait to see what kind of person he’ll become and I love to watch him learn and try new things. I want him to be a bright, independent person. I am excited to start solids and to watch him play with mashed up bananas and bits of avocado, see what he likes and what he doesn’t, and watch his face contort in pleasure or disgust. But yes, part of me will still be sad.

Motherhood really is the toughest job there is, huh? I don’t know how I’ll survive his first birthday or first day of school.