Thinking About Another

March 7, 2011

Yes, I mean baby.

Boy has this issue been on my mind a lot lately. When should we have our second child?

I have such mixed feelings about it all. There is no denying that I can’t stop thinking about it. That I miss being pregnant, that I miss some of the newborn stuff, that I like the idea of a second child. Is it just because my son is getting so big? Is it a way of holding on? Or are we really ready?

I can answer that question with a resounding NO. We are not ready. I am more ready than my husband, for sure. It’s something we “discuss” but we never really finish the conversation. I think he still feels overwhelmed sometimes with the one (as do I) and has trouble with the idea of adding another baby into the equation… but I wish he’d look at the whole picture with me. We approach things from different angles on this topic, that’s for sure.

I like the idea of having children who are very close in age. I know my husband does as well; we both have huge age gaps between our siblings (and are both the youngest), and we don’t want that for our children. Yes, it would be a lot of work to have them close together, and I’m sure it would be exhausting and stressful. But they’d be so close. You could do all the baby stuff in one stage, then move on to the next.

But then… then I think about my beautiful son. How could I ever love another baby this much? How could I share my love? Of course, I know that’s silly, obviously you don’t love your first child less because you have a second child, you don’t share your love (just your time) and I know your heart and your ability to love just grows.

I’m so torn. I don’t want to miss out on my son’s firsts. I don’t want to be preoccupied. I want to enjoy it all.

It goes fast.

But does that mean I wouldn’t enjoy it all if I was pregnant, if we had another baby, if I got to see him love and interact with a sibling? Would he benefit more by having my full attention for a few more years, or would it be easier for him to adjust sooner to having a sibling?

Too many questions and so few answers. I know there isn’t a right or a wrong when it comes to this situation. Right now, I don’t even think I could conceive if I wanted to try (my period still hasn’t returned). And what if we have troubles? But it’s weird to think that, if I got pregnant right this second, G would already be about a year and half old when the baby was born. I don’t know what the best age gap is… 2 years? 3 years? less or more? I don’t know. But it’s on my mind. Oh, it’s on my mind…


One Response to “Thinking About Another”

  1. I am already thinking about this. I would prefer our kids close in age, mainly to get it all out of the way quickly. I don’t want to have a baby at 36, ya know? I can only imagine how exhausted I’d be. It took us 11? 12? Can’t remember off the top of my head right now cycles to get pregnant with this one. In theory, I would like to start when she is 1 years old and then at the quickest they would be just under 2 years apart or perhaps 2-3 years if it takes us that long again. We disagree currently on if we are done at 2 or 3. And quite frankly, I’d rather have them all close together and then be done. But I also think I want at least a full year before we start to try again. Heck, maybe even 2 full years. If that is the case we will most likely be done at 2.

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