Where do we learn it from?

November 5, 2010

Parents. So sad. With all the attention bullying is getting these days (and rightfully so, when kids are killing themselves because they are gay and shamed for it), you’d think some parents would realize where their kids are getting it from. That you have to set an example, and if you don’t want your child to grow up to be a close-minded judgmental douchebag, that maybe you should keep your mouth shut (and certainly not express your negative thoughts IN FRONT OF A FIVE YEAR OLD). Keep your sexist, homophobic opinions to yourself, and if you absolutely cannot handle minding your own beeswax, can you please be tactful and considerate enough to wait until all children are out of earshot?

Here’s a great blog post from a wonderful mama who lets her son be himself. While I have a hard time believing she didn’t expect some reaction, she handled it well and her son is one lucky kiddo. Please read this, if you haven’t already… it’s creating some buzz in blogging and facebook lands.

My Son is Gay

Why is it okay for girls to dress as boys, but not the other way around? Why is being feminine a bad trait? What is so damn bad about women that it’s so terrible for men and boys to pick up on those qualities, express them, dress as them, etc.? Or, for that matter, what is so damn bad about being gay? Other than the fact that you’re stuck in an unsupportive world of people that need to get over themselves.

And how on earth do I raise my son in this world? To make sure he understands right from wrong? To make sure he understands that it’s okay to be different, whether it’s him or a friend or a stranger? That women deserve to be respected? That there’s nothing wrong with being gay, or feminine, or whatever?

He’s going to be surrounded by a lot of alpha-male types… will he know it’s okay if he wants to be an artist or dancer instead of a hunter or football player? How do I handle bullying? What if he’s the one doing the bullying?

So many questions on a Friday morning. I think I need a refill on my coffee.

Oh, and Boo? You rocked that damn Daphne costume. *high five*

edit: Check out this video on CNN that discusses that blog post.

No, Dr. Jeff, my worst nightmare as a parent is NOT that my son might be gay. The only reason it would be a nightmare for me is if he had to face negative backlash, bullying, shaming, and anything else that makes him feel bad about his sexual orientation. As I discussed with a facebook friend, a nightmare for me as a mother is that my son might get cancer, or be kidnapped, or get hit by a car, or cross paths with a serial killer. Or become a serial killer. Not that he might like other dudes.

Where’s the outcry over little girls lesbians that dress up like Batman? Oh, wait, having masculine qualities is a good thing. Wanting to be “like a boy” is a good thing, nothing to stress over. Silly me. Just being a silly woman, which is, apparently, a negative thing to be like.

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2 Responses to “Where do we learn it from?”

  1. Word! It really does start with parents and that IS where kids learn how to bully. And I have no idea how to do raise a child to do all the good things in life and be a defender of others but I will try my hardest to do it.

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